Dear Therapist: I have serious anger issues

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Published: Thu 23 Sep 2021, 7:31 PM

Since the pandemic started, I seem to have developed serious anger issues, which I often cannot control. I live with my parents who are extremely strict and this has forced me to keep my emotions to myself. I cannot express my anger in any way, which makes it worse. Due to this, I frequently have violent thoughts vis-a-vis those around me, including myself. I cannot speak to anyone about this. — Kashaf A.

By Prateeksha Shetty

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Dear Writer, anger is often a misunderstood emotion. Sometimes sadness and helplessness is projected as anger, as well as worries and anxiety. Hence, it’s important to reflect on what’s behind that rage. Having authoritarian parents may also have influenced your emotional expression and made it more difficult to accept or allow yourself to have negative emotions. When an emotion or feeling is invalidated, we struggle to contain it, which comes out as mood swings or in your case aggressive thoughts of harm.


I believe that consulting a psychotherapist would be wise at this stage as you have attempted to regulate it for close to two years now. In the meantime, try tracking triggers for your anger; it could be specific individuals or incidents, themes that trigger aggression, which will help you understand it better. It could also be obsessions if they are out of the blue, are intrusive, repetitive and seem alien to you. Mindfulness practices are recommended to help you withhold impulsive reactions, and generate a sense of well-being and contentment.

(Got a query about mental health? Email us on wknd@khaleejtimes.com)



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