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The Gender games
A space to share your feedback. Over to you.
- PUBLISHED: Fri 2 Oct 2015, 5:00 PM UPDATED: Sat 3 Oct 2015, 10:50 AM
As a person who used to identify as a feminist (before choosing to adopt the more easily palatable label of egalitarian), I agree wholeheartedly with Rohit Nair (Gender Bender, Sept 25). Women have been known to take advantage of their perception in society - as the weaker and more fragile gender - while, at the same time, campaigning for "equal rights".
While there's no doubt that women in Third World countries, driven by patriarchal societies, have a long way to go in the name of equality, it often seems to me that women in First World countries are expending energy fighting a battle for a cause that no longer exists. After all, the wage gap is a myth that has been debunked - repeatedly - by feminists themselves; women have the right to vote, but do not have to worry about being drafted, unlike men. Women are almost always given custody of the children in divorce cases, solely because they're women; they are no longer the overwhelming majority of rape and domestic abuse cases - in fact, 40 per cent of domestic abuse cases are men. And women are less likely to be convicted as rapists (the charge is often reduced to sexual assault). There are laws on almost every college campus protecting women from men, to the point that men are now wary of even approaching women, lest a sexual assault complaint be filed. Meanwhile, men cannot be afforded the same protection; a case comes to mind of a boy having to pay child support for a child resulting from when he was raped by a much older woman.
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Keeping these facts in mind, it seems to me, personally, that a lot of women's "problems" are nothing more than petty complaints. Men are objectified just as much as women, yet no one bats an eyelash (remember the "Alex from Target" incident from some months ago?) A woman who chooses to leave home and work is seen as brave and independent, whereas a man who wants to stay home and look after his children is seen as weak and useless. Women tend to take advantage of men's respect for them and no one can say anything because in any altercation, the blame always lies with the man, and the woman is always seen as innocent.
Feminism as a movement cannot progress until women understand what a real problem is, as compared to a small issue that can be easily resolved. Women are not as disadvantaged as they would like to believe, but unfortunately, until we learn to pull our own weight, stop complaining and laying blame on the "patriarchy", we will not be taken seriously by anyone.
» E for Empathy
"Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant" said philosopher Henry David Thoreau. And therein would lie the panacea for this world's ills and miseries. Before we brandish the sword of judgement, wield the blazing torrent of anger, or spew a barrage of criticism on a hapless victim - be it in the family, the workplace or any other milieu - let's step back, look inward, listen and converse in an attempt to gain an insight and understanding of those around us. Empathise! (Care to Walk in My Shoes?, Sept 25) It takes just a moment, but that moment could be an eye opener, acting as a salve, healing many a broken relation and going a long way to tear down the manmade walls of insensitivity, intolerance, terror and war. It can enable us to confront our own vulnerabilities and insecurities and, in the process, heal.
The path from apathy to empathy does not have to be one less travelled, especially if we learn to practise this core value with alacrity and endeavour to find the echoes of others in ourselves. In a world that revels in picking out flaws, we must strive to become an empathy explorer. Be human and humane. Let's make the world better, not bitter.
Jessy Paulose, Sharjah
» the new age yogis
The typical public perception of yoga has shifted significantly in recent years. The article Striking A New Pose (Sept 25) talks about the latest trends in yoga like acroyoga, swing yoga, yin yoga and so on. The ancient practice is being dramatically transformed as the latest styles send practitioners spinning around and hanging weightlessly. Rather than seeing the modernisation of yoga as a positive, creative and even visionary response to a rapidly changing world, many view it with either indifference or hostility. Many practitioners remain wedded to the belief that any and all Western influences on the Eastern tradition of yoga are necessarily negative and corrupting.
If modern yoga is indeed a partially Westernised practice, we need to rejoice and encourage their creativity and seek ways to keep them meaningful. Yoga has made an impact on the West, but the West has made an equal impact on yoga. This mutual influence has been truly beneficial for both sides. Although yoga has evolved with the times, unless these practices encourage internal reflection and empowers a person to be peaceful in mind, body and life, they are missing the core of the discipline.
Dr Shabbir Saifuddin, by email