The fat is in the fire

Meghan Trainor might be All About That Bass - and let's just point out now that the song is more treble and in no way bass heavy - and Nicki Minaj's take on Sir Mix-a-Lot's Baby Got Back, as hideous a song as it is, might seem poles apart, but are, funnily enough, anthems around the same theme: That boys want you to be curvy, plus size, have that boom boom and all the right junk in all the right places. These are the lyrics to Trainor's anthem that is supposedly aimed at making overweight women feel better about themselves.

Then there's the latest social media trend aimed at inspiring women worldwide to post pictures of their plus-size selves with the hashtag 'Fatkini'. The Independent even did a whole spread on it, replete with pictures. And who can forget Dove's viral 'campaign for real beauty'; showing women who were curvy (but not quite fat) instead of the traditional thin, toned women we're so used to seeing in ads.

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Don't let that first word in #fatkini fool you though, ladies, despite what you may be led to believe about showing off your real bodies. Writer Miriam Perez explains on Colorline.com that a fatkini is "a bikini made for, and worn by, a fat, plus-size or curvy woman". And what has been the result?

Stores like Forever 21 and online retailer Asos have introduced plus-size swimwear and bikini options. But one thing is plainly obvious: they're not trying to help you boost your image or confidence, they're making money by exploiting your fatness. It's a whole market sector that is just booming, thanks to our inability to accept the obesity epidemic.

More than 66 per cent of men and 60 per cent of women in the UAE are overweight or obese, according to a new analysis from the Middle Eastern Initiatives at the Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation in the US. That's a health problem - not an issue of self-confidence, self-worth, beauty, attractiveness, appearance or anything else that you've been led to believe.

To put it in Dr Ali Mokdad's words - the director of the Middle Eastern Initiatives who analysed the data for the above statistic - "The disease is not about appearance. It's not the way we look. It's really a disease. It's a major factor for morbidity and mortality." It seems counter-productive then, when you have national campaigns to fight obesity and being overweight, and brands push an altogether obtuse campaign of tricking you into thinking that it's okay to be fat.

We call pointing out fatness 'fat-shaming', tell people it's offensive, come up with 'plus-size', 'curvy', and other sugar-coated politically correct phrases to detract from the fact that we're all - men and women - becoming alarmingly fat, overweight and obese. So, the question is: should we really be glorifying this?

But it seems we're unable to detach the two sides to the fat coin. "Unfortunately, especially in a place like Dubai, it's all about the image," says Vijay (name changed on request). "Getting healthy is sort of a secondary bonus of not being fat - looking good - and I think it needs to change from the school level and at home. Instead of focusing on the 'you're getting fat', we need to focus on, 'you need to get healthy'," he says. Vijay used to weigh 154 kg, chomping on fast food seven days a week, with neither remorse nor care. "Before I knew it, I had lost all control and I knew I was in trouble. Of course, there was the name-calling - 'fatso', 'fatty' and all that - but my blood sugar, pressure and cholesterol levels were normal, so I didn't think twice. You know you're prone to things like heart disease, strokes and other things, but I didn't take it seriously." Then Vijay decided to turn things around, moving to a vegetarian diet, joining kickboxing classes, walking 7 km a day, eating at home, reducing portion sizes... "Even if it was a burger, I would make it at home and eat it," he says. Over the past year and a half, he has lost 64 kg! "And now, I'm thinking about my health, when I should have been thinking about my health first and my image second. I've come a long way, but there's still a long way to go."

Bosky Dutia, from Muscat, Oman used to weigh 155.5 kg two years ago; she now weighs just under 80 kg. Obesity, she points out, causes a myriad health problems, including heart attacks, joint problems, arthritis, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, heart disease and strokes. Overweight people are also more likely to die young. "For me, being fat was always a negative point in my life," says Bosky. "I was made fun of by everyone, including some family members. Random people on the road would point and laugh or single me out for 'advice', which was usually extremely hateful. It broke me inside as a person. I didn't do anything about it for the longest time, thinking, 'It's my body, I'm happy with who I am and what I look like. I don't care about the world'.

My eyes opened up to the unhealthy side of it once my daughter pointed out that mummy was always tired and wouldn't play with her - at the tender age of three. It broke my heart and I resolved to do something about it. Not for me alone, but for our life together." Bosky feels that it has to come from within and without that personal acceptance and motivation, nothing effective happens.

In this day and age, when we're becoming increasingly narcissistic and image obsessed, it's no wonder that when you call someone fat, it's taken as an offence. The same doesn't apply to skinny people. Why is "Oh my goodness, you're so skinny!" not even remotely as offensive as "Oh my goodness, you're so fat!"?

The recent social media backlash against fat-shaming - aptly called thin-shaming - is example enough. "You are so skinny," "Get some meat on those bones," "Be careful or you might blow away in the wind". These are things that fat people say to thin people. Women are constantly under pressure to live up to a physiologically impossible standard of airbrushed and photoshopped models. You could argue that these campaigns - like Dove and #fatkini - are supposed to help women who are overweight feel better about themselves, because it's implied you're not attractive if you are. Note that anorexia is also a health condition, but you don't see any 'positive body image' campaigns for that. There's also the issue of genetics and some people are just naturally curvy - not fat, curvy. "I believe that confidence isn't in what you wear or what you look like. It's a mind thing; either you have it or you don't," says Bosky. "But how you're treated when you're not what you're 'supposed' to look like according to society is very painful."

Pointing out that someone is fat shouldn't be about that person's image or beauty, and most definitely not abusive. It should, instead, be encouraging and supportive, to help them make those tough choices and get healthy.

Gym instructor Dario - who is 37 but doesn't look a day older than 25 - has this to say: "Everyone has the choice to do something about it, and if you make the conscious effort to eat healthy, exercise and take care of yourself, you will always look and feel amazing and young,"

Both Bosky and Vijay are much more confident in themselves and their image since they lost weight and have seen the dramatic turnaround in the attitudes of people around them. "I have always carried myself with confidence, but the boost this loss gave me was incredible. Things changed, people were more receptive - accepting even. It opened up my eyes to the shallowness of people. It's a two-edged sword; some days I am extremely happy and some days I still wonder if I am accepted for who I am or what I look like," ponders Bosky.

"It's funny that people still see me and say, 'You're looking great!'. It's sad that we think about the appearance of a person before the health. Sadly, for a lot of people, it's the other way around," says Vijay.

rohit@khaleejtimes.com