Burnout is the inevitable result of chronic stress without relief
Feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders? Stressing out will only make things worse
Sarah, 45, walks in with hands trembling, heart pounding, staring blankly at her clenched fists as if they hold answers she is afraid of.
“I used to love my life,” she whispers to me, “ But I don’t know what’s happening right now”.
Years of excelling in her career, successfully juggling kids, family and work deadlines, have taken their toll.
“I feel like a bird with open wings, but no wind to carry me forward, trapped in the in-between”, she confesses.
If you’ve experienced burnout, you’ll understand: it feels like depletion at a soul level.
Burnout: When Pushing Through No Longer Works
For many high-achievers, the instinctive response to burnout is to push harder, and do more, accompanied by cynicism and severe self-judgement:
"I am stronger than this.”
"Other people are managing just fine."
"I just need to push through."
But what if the way forward isn’t about pushing harder, but being gentler?
Burnout is the body’s distress signal when you’ve ignored the warning signs for too long, and it often starts subtly. A little extra time at work here, a skipped lunch break there. Over time, it snowballs, and work that once excited you now feels draining, small tasks are overwhelming, and detachment and disconnect replaces your passion for life.
Burnout is the inevitable result of chronic stress without relief.
And while external factors — workload, lack of control, and toxic environments — play a significant role, one of the biggest accelerators is an internal, self-imposed pressure.
The Self-Criticism Cycle: How We Make Burnout Worse
Most people associate success with unrelenting drive, believing that a healthy dose of self-criticism keeps us sharp.
But research shows the harder we are on ourselves, the faster we burn out. The more we criticise our own struggles, the deeper we sink into anxiety and breakdown.
And the research is clear: Self-criticism doesn’t fuel resilience—it worsens it.
An unexpected Antidote: Self Compassion
In a world obsessed with performance, the practice of self-compassion i.e. treating yourself with kindness, understanding, and patience, especially in moments of struggle or failure, feels counter-intuitive, almost indulgent.
Dr Kristin Neff, a leading expert in self-compassion, explains that when we judge ourselves harshly, our nervous system interprets it as a threat.
When the brain perceives a threat—whether real or imagined—it activates the fight-or-flight response, flooding the body with stress hormones.
Dr Richard Davidson, a neuroscientist specialising in emotion and resilience, found that self-compassion regulates the brain’s fear centre—and enhances the part of the brain responsible for emotional regulation and decision-making.
In other words, being kinder to ourselves literally changes how our brain processes stress.
The Self-Compassion Shift: Practical Ways to Break Free from Burnout
If burnout has already set in, the following is within your capacity :
1.Replace Self-Judgment with Self-Kindness
Instead of saying,
“I have to do more”, try “I am human, and it’s okay to not do everything.”
Treat yourself kindly, as you would a close friend.
2.Ask for help
List your resources. Delegate where possible. Ask for help. Yes, others may not be able to accomplish things like you can, but enlisting support may just save you. You have one life, don’t let burnout steal it from you.
3.Normalise Struggle
One of the most sneaky aspects of burnout is the feeling that you’re alone in it.. Recognising and acknowledging that everyone experiences setbacks and doubts can help lift the weight of self-blame and replace it with self-empathy. Burnout is not a personal failure
4.Normalise Rest as a Necessity, Not a Reward
Rest isn’t something to be “earned” —it’s what prevents burnout in the first place. Self-nurture includes prioritising micro breaks throughout your day. When you have a cup of coffee, do just that until you are done, then return to work. Try a complete change of scenery every day, switching from work, to nature and time out. High performance isn’t just about working to the point of breakdown, but also about managing your energy sustainably.
5.Set Good Boundaries Without Guilt
Learn to say no — not out of selfishness, but out of self-preservation. Burnout typically thrives in environments without clear boundaries. Set limits: no one else is going to set them for you.
6.Reframe “Failure” as Learning
“I either win, or I learn.” Make this powerful mantra yours as you reframe failure as a learning curve. This subtle shift removes the shame that fuels burnout.
7.Reframe Productivity as More Than Just Output
True productivity is about meaningful progress, not just about what you can accomplish in a day. Its not doing “more”, it’s about doing what matters most while maintaining your well-being.
8.Grant yourself time.
Yes, I understand the urgency of wanting to “just get back to normal”. Remember “normal” is what got you burnt out in the first place. Kindness and patience win, as you try this new concept of self-empathy and self-respect.
9.Clarify your values.
Self-reflection and self-understanding can guide decision-making. Be clear about what you value most in life. Your beliefs and priorities can support you.
10.Seek Support Without Shame
Asking for help — whether from a mentor, therapist, or trusted friend — is not weakness. It’s wisdom. Meaningful connection is one of the most powerful antidotes to burnout.
The Takeaway: Permission to be human
As a society, we need to stop the glorification of busy, and step away from the hustle towards perfection, in order to embrace our humanity
Burnout isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a serious signal that something needs to change. And while external changes like workload adjustments and/or medical interventions are important, the real, lasting shift begins internally.
Research shows self compassion reduces stress hormones, lowers inflammation, and increases emotional resilience, shifting the nervous system from survival mode into recovery.
But self-compassion isn’t just about recovery — it’s about intentionally creating a life you truly deserve.
For help and support, go to www.drgeraldine.com
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