Nurture matrimony with care

By Dr Dhananjay (Jay) Datar

Published: Thu 10 Feb 2022, 9:00 AM

You will be puzzled to read the heading of this article and perhaps ask me how the topic is related to entrepreneurship. But friends, there is a similarity between your marital life and business. You must have a long term commitment to both to achieve success.

Once, my wife and I were on a tour of Europe. We were enjoying our lunch in an Indian restaurant. We were chatting and sharing childhood memories of our native towns in India. A young waiter who was serving us was standing nearby. When I thanked him with a tip for his remarkable service, I saw a dejected expression on his face, his eyes moist with tears. I asked him the reason behind it, and he replied, “Sir, I heard your conversation and your memories of our homeland. It reminded me of my past too. It was heart touching to watch the warmth and intimacy of your relations and deep love towards each other. I made a huge mistake and am now repenting.”

He told us his sad story. He had moved to a foreign country to earn an attractive salary to feed his large joint family. He kept sending them his savings frequently. Later, he got married to a beautiful girl from his community. After the honeymoon, he immediately returned to rejoin his work. Unfortunately, he couldn’t manage to take a long vacation than to visit his family. Meanwhile, his newlywed wife became so lonely and bored without the company of her husband that she decided to return to her parents’ home. She demanded her husband to either take her with him to the country where he was working or return home permanently to live with her. Since both her demands were difficult to fulfil, the young husband became depressed and gloomy.

I was touched by his story and advised him. “You made a mistake. It was the sweet beginning of your marital life. You could have given adequate time to develop an intimate relationship with your spouse. You fulfilled your duty as a son and a brother but you neglected the responsibility of a husband. Every woman has her dreams and expectations from her husband. You forgot to understand it. Still, you can rectify your mistake. Go back, reconnect with her and apologise- and in the future spend some dedicated time with her. If possible, bring her here with you.”

Today, our life has become fast and hectic. But at the same time, it has also brought some new challenges before us. One of the reasons behind divorce might be a lack of understanding, communication and spending quality time with each other. I want to advise all young aspirants and newly married couples dreaming of moving abroad for a job or business to develop the bond of love, emotions and trust with your spouse and make efforts to make each other happy.

Dr Dhananjay (Jay) Datar is the chairman and managing director of Al Adil Trading

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