UAE: Boss stealing credit for your work? How to deal with a narcissist in the office

[Editor's Note: Struggling with an issue at work? Don't know how to address concerns with an employee? Send your questions to webteam@khaleejtimes.com — our HR experts will provide confidential, professional advice.]

Question: My manager constantly seeks attention, takes credit for others’ work, and reacts badly to feedback. Could they be a narcissist, and how do I handle them without risking my sanity or career?

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Answer: Have you ever found yourself working alongside someone who seems convinced the office was created solely for their benefit? Welcome to the world of workplace narcissism.

While dealing with these colleagues isn't always fun, there's good news: understanding what drives different people can seriously enhance your influence at work. Over the years, I've learned that understanding different personality styles and approaches can be a lifesaver — it can significantly enhance your ability to influence effectively and work harmoniously.

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Recognising the workplace narcissist

Psychology’s DSM-5 outlines clear traits of narcissism:

• A grandiose and exaggerated sense of self-importance (frequent "hero" moments).

• A constant craving for admiration and validation.

• An inflated sense of entitlement — rules are for mortals, not them.

• A tendency to exploit relationships for personal gain.

• High sensitivity to criticism, often resulting in defensive or hostile reactions.

Research (O’Reilly et al., California Management Review) highlights that narcissists frequently rise rapidly to leadership due to charisma and apparent confidence. Yet, unlike genuine transformational leaders who aim for collective good, narcissists prioritize personal acclaim.

 6 tips to manage narcissists at work

1. Understand their motivations

Narcissists thrive on admiration, dread criticism, and seek control. Tailor your interactions to these motivations to navigate conversations more effectively.

2. Frame your proposals strategically

When seeking their support, align your proposals clearly with their goals. For example, "Your leadership could drive meaningful change here and showcase your expertise." This authentic alignment facilitates genuine collaboration.

3. Set clear boundaries

Harsh remarks from narcissists typically reflect their insecurities, not your abilities. Keep interactions professional and emotionally neutral, documenting key agreements to prevent misunderstandings.

4. Adapt your communication style

Avoid public confrontations. Opt instead for collaborative dialogue: "I'd greatly appreciate your insights on this matter." Reinforce cooperative behaviours positively to encourage repetition.

5. Build a strong support network

Establish robust relationships across your organisation. Allies can provide invaluable perspective, reinforce your credibility, and support appropriate interventions involving HR or senior leaders if necessary.

6. Prioritise Your wellbeing and career growth

Remember, their behaviour reflects their inner challenges, not your worth. Engage regularly in stress-relief activities like mindfulness, journaling, or exercise. If the environment becomes persistently toxic, exploring alternative roles or opportunities can lead to a healthier professional experience.

A moderate degree of narcissism can sometimes foster ambition and achievement. However, as Jeffrey Kluger wisely observes in The Narcissist Next Door, “A little narcissism can be a good thing in many jobs; a lot of narcissism is a bad thing in almost all jobs.”

While you can't transform a narcissist, you do have complete control over how you respond. By strategically navigating their motivations, setting clear boundaries, and prioritising your well-being, you’re more likely to excel professionally, turning workplace challenges into opportunities for growth.

Roujin Ghamsari is an accomplished HR practitioner and fellow of the CIPD, a professional body for HR and people development. Named among the 'Most Influential HR Practitioners 2023', she excels at collaborating with C-Suite leadership to craft and implement robust people plans, enabling organisations to deliver their strategic objectives.