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My Fault or Life’s Fault?

There are very few things in life that are certain, predictable or controllable. Other than birth and death what else can we really be sure of?

Even if control is possible, it doesn’t make our everyday challenges easier. From issues we face at home, work, amongst family and friends, society or images we view on the news all put pressure on our coping mechanism system and tolerance levels, wearing us down and eventually resulting in a wide range health related ailments caused by stress.

Not everyone would identify the same life experiences as stressful. However after many surveys and analysis of questionnaires, there seems to be a number of stressors that affect us most deeply. The top 10 life events causing the most amount of stress include:

• Death of a loved one
• Divorce
• Prison Term
• Debt
• Personal injury or illness
• Accident
• Marriage
• Being fired from work
• Moving to a new home or country
• Retirement

Unfortunately stress is so common and affects almost everyone that we have just about forgotten about the damage it can have, both physically and psychologically and continue to live with it without stopping to evaluate ways of dealing with it.

The first symptoms we see are physical and begin mild such as chronic headaches, dizziness, inability to sleep, changes in appetite and increased susceptibility to colds. Prolonged periods of stress, however, result in more serious health problems such as:

• depression
• panic attacks
• diabetes
• hypochondria
• hair loss
• acne
• heart disease and high blood pressure
• hyperthyroidism
• obesity or weight loss
• obsessive-compulsive or anxiety disorder
• sexual dysfunction and inability to conceive
• tooth and gum disease
• ulcers and cold sores

While it is true that stress affects many of us, different cultures have varieties of perceptions and reactions to stress. Our understanding of and relationship with stress is very much shaped by our cultural value systems, practices, motivational levels and beliefs.

Lazarus (1994) defines stress as a transaction between the individual and the environment, therefore ‘anything which taxes or exceeds an individual’s resources is said to be stressful. Key to this process is the construct of appraisal. For Lazarus, how an individual appraises or understands a situation determines whether or not it is going to be acknowledged as stressful. That’s why a change of occupation, for example, may seem like an absolute disaster to one person but perceived and appraised as the best possible opportunity for another individual.

One of the most interesting psychological variables that affects our perception of a situation as being stressful or not is Rotter’s notion of internal versus external locus of control. Locus of control represents individuals’ range of beliefs concerning personal control over their environment and the range extends from strong personal control (internal locus of control) to weak or no personal control (external locus of control).

Rotter believes that people as well as cultures, will attribute the reason why something is happening in their lives as either internally driven or externally caused. Therefore those who have an internal locus of control believe that events are dependent upon their own behaviour, capacities, or attributes while those with an external locus of control believe that situations are not controlled by them but rather driven more through luck, fate, destiny and chance. So getting fired from your job can be seen as not performing below the adequate/required levels (internal) or because it was meant to be (external).

Now most of us are a combination of both internal and external. Rarely do we see individuals that are purely one or the other. After many years of research and analysis it seems those who have more of an internal locus of control seem to suffer less from stress initially because they feel as if they have some amount of control over their lives, behaviour and environment. Where as those who have more of an external locus of control perceive their lives as more unpredictable and uncontrollable, leading to anxious feelings and stress related symptoms.

What’s interesting is that in the long run however, those with an external locus of control who might be more religious, spiritual or perceive situations as being destined seem to accept life challenges more readily, don’t try to challenge the outcome or tempt fate and therefore surrender more easily than those who try and question or constantly confront stressful life events, resulting in more frustration and energy being utilised.

Regardless of how stressful situations are perceived or understood it is very important to constantly evaluate those variables, especially those we can control, in order to eradicate them from our lives, before they affect our physiology and psychological well being.

Remember, learning more, results in living more…

Samineh I Shaheem is an author, an assistant professor of psychology, currently lecturing in Dubai, as well as a cross-cultural consultant at HRI. She has studied and worked in different parts of the world, including the USA, Canada, UK, Netherlands, and the UAE. She co hosts a radio program (Psyched Sundays 10-12pm) every Sunday morning on Dubai Eye 103.8 FM discussing the most relevant psychological issues in our community. Please forward your thoughts and suggestions for future articles to OutOfMindContact@gmail.com