The holidays are over

Parents must help children to stay positive and prepare for the new academic year or resuming studies after the long vacation

By (Muaz Shabandri)

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Published: Tue 14 Sep 2010, 10:02 PM

Last updated: Mon 6 Apr 2015, 3:09 AM

Tonight, school-age children throughout the UAE will be in bed early, new school outfits laid out and bags packed for the first day of school. It is fun. It is exciting. If you say so, we are not sure if all the kids feel that way. Have you noticed how all those stories about going ‘back to school’ are written by people who aren’t going back…to school, that is.

Experts believe that parents play an important role in the first few days getting the children into the routine and sort of pulling up their socks after months of taking it easy. The first ten days to two weeks are the most difficult because the energy levels are high but the workload looks forbidding and the increased discipline is a little in the way.

Good classmates (friends?), teachers who earn affection and loyalty and lead from the front and a handle on the curriculum all turn out to be supports as one slides back into the term. But if you have spent weeks without touching your books, then there will be a few problems getting the rhythm of things.

Children should not get too upset if the first few days of school are hard because after a while they will find the work getting easier.

One important thing to remember for the first day, says Carmen Benton, a parenting educator at Counselling Dubai, is that parents need to work with their children on an emotional level and help them feel comfortable about returning to school.

Don’t be scared. And if there is a problem that the child feels needed addressing last term but ducked it because the holidays came in the way, check with your children now. If they are morose about school, if you feel there is a ‘parental ‘sixth sense’ kicking in that something is not quite right then, as a parent, grasp the nettle. It could be anything from a class bully to a nasty teacher, bad company putting peer pressure to do something wrong, fear of failure, rage at being left out of the team, some guilt about an issue, then talk to your child. Over the first week you’ll be able to gauge if there is something that needs to be talked about.

“For some students, returning to schools can be an intimidating experience. There is an actual need to understand what the child feels about going to school and parents need to talk to their kids to reduce stress and anxiety,” says Benton.

Following the extended summer vacation, returning to school timings can be difficult as it means getting up early for school. The physical adjustment is not that simple.

“It is beneficial for the students to know what to expect when they are moving into a new academic year and getting into the routine a few days in advance,” says Benton.

Advising parents to practise the GEM principle or Genuine Encounter Moments, Benton highlights the need to spend quality time with kids.

“There is nothing that can substitute the time spent between a parent and their kids. Being at home, kids need to feel relaxed and they should be given the time to calm down and relax.”

Preethi Mohan Kumar from the Child Guidance Medical Centre in Sharjah says, “If a child is hesitant to go back to school, then try to find out the reason behind it. Parenting skills play a vital role when it comes to understanding the problems as open communication with the child is critical in such cases.”

In more than 90 per cent of the cases received at the centre, specialist educators end up training the parents themselves. With the pressure of performing well in academics, parents often add to the over-stimulating environment at schools.

“Schools can get very competitive and parents tend to focus on academic achievements more often than not. This is where the problem starts as the pressure of academics takes its toll,” adds Preethi.

Kshitij Jain, a Grade 11 student at DPS Sharjah, says, “Education is over-competitive and the fun element is missing.”

As he says, “Students get divided into two groups. One is the ‘intelligent’ group which comprise academic achievers, while the second is the group of average students who are laid back and take things easily.”

Pressuring students for academic achievements can be detrimental to the child’s development as it can lead to psychological complications. Most children show symptoms like finding it difficult to sit in one place, difficulty in following rules and general misbehaviour, but sometimes a child also starts suffering from within.

And the parent has a role to play in the formative days of each term… however busy they are doesn’t matter, they must find the time.

muaz@khaleejtimes.com


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