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Covid-19, flight, plane, luxury, coronavirus, lifestyle

The desire to fly and get away from Covid-19 is so overwhelming even crying babies are like a Bach symphony.

By Bikram Vohra

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Published: Tue 26 May 2020, 3:22 PM

Last updated: Tue 26 May 2020, 5:34 PM

I am so jonesing to take a flight. Like it has become such an obsession I am dreaming about it. There I am wafting through the night sky, down below a township, its thick cluster of lights like a bright octopus, its illuminated tentacles stretching into the distance as if seeking purchase in the dark. In the well-lit cabin, having pushed other passengers, shoved their hand baggage around, stubbed toes, barked shins and genially wounded others are now leaning back in the seat, the 2.5 inch recline the epitome of luxury, aaah, this is good. Enjoying the safety demo and the talk and actually reading the safety card in the pocket at the back of the seat in front of me and being nice to fellow passengers and even being forgiving about their toilet etiquette (or the lack of it) and just finding the temporary break from the surly bonds of earth so exhilarating.

And it is surly these days on the ground though not half as surly as my history professor, now that was truly surly, like he had a perpetual flow of lemon juice in his mouth, it was almost rancid. But I digress. That is the problem with digression, it often becomes more interesting than the main story which is unfair to the reader who started to read you because you were talking about aircraft and flying, not history teachers, surly or otherwise. You want to rabbit on about history teachers then write another piece.

And then there is dinner and all those cellophane wrappings that cover various coloured goos that comprise an airline meal and now you have to wrestle with them and you wonder if Clark Kent is needed and then the guy in the window seat wants to 'go' and you engage in the herculean task of holding your tray aloft while he squeegees past and naturally stomps your ankle because you cannot go from window seat to aisle without doing that.

This desire to fly and get away from Covid-19 is so overwhelming even crying babies are like a Bach symphony.

The captain then tells you that there on the left of the plane we are passing over Portofino and if you look closely you might see Angelina Jolie without Brad Pitt walking on the boardwalk and naturally you are sitting on the right side and you see nothing but the dark of the night.

Even that is okay if I can just get on a flight.


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