Dubai diaries: Keep mum and carry on this Mother's Day

For many, Mother’s Day is a one-off celebration; a bit of fun and an excuse to maybe go out and enjoy a spot of dinner, wrap up a nice gift or at the very least put writing skills to the test by scribbling down heartfelt sentiments inside an invariably sappy card. To those people I impart: good for you. For others, myself included, it is the culmination of a minimum three-month information campaign dictating every parental phone call, message and visit from January to March is punctuated by four words: “Don’t. Forget. Mothering. Sunday.” If one phrase has the ability to provoke equal annoyance and dread, I have yet to hear it.

In fairness the lady in question has a point. My track record in forgetting the significance of March 21 would certainly put me through to the amnesiac world finals...don’t ask me when they’re held. I wouldn’t say I’m the Usain Bolt of needing to make last-minute frantic florist calls, but I’d handily secure a podium finish. Am I purposefully rallying against a holiday created to sell more tat? No. Mothers have difficult jobs and one day of recognition a year isn’t too much to ask. Am I terrible at recalling dates? You bet your golden anniversary for which I should have made a congratulatory cake on it. Unfortunately such cogent and rational arguments do not fly in the Light household. Traditional wall calendars received as Christmas presents (consistently from the same person), not to mention digital incarnations on phones and PCs apparently invalidate the defence. The prosecution maintains access to the world’s information at the tap of a button should also make it easier to bear one day out of 365 in mind. I don’t deny she has a point. Though just to make absolutely sure, the New Year hints begin regular as clockwork. Often typed, Boomer style, in all caps followed by any number of exclamation marks, the regular mobile dings resemble missives from a former president. Sad.

And so here we find ourselves on the day in question. Has the propaganda crusade worked? Given 2021’s fervent persistence in keeping me rooted to the spot, indeed special occasions have had more success in permeating my fogged hippocampus. That and the intense nagging. Far be it for me to conclude harrying always has the desired effect, but without it I feel both my mother and I would find ourselves in a sulk: one guilty, one indignant. So, well done. Happy Mother’s Day. And if it you’re a child reading this issue in a cold sweat, there’s a heck of a lot of information in the following pages to help you ease any tension which could arise from your utter ungrateful neglect. I can take the high road because, like an absolute swot, I took care of matters a few days ago. And I definitely checked Sunday as the delivery date. Right?.