Race to the bottom

At a cool fine-dine restaurant, Jacqueline Fernandez says with a straight face, "I'm weird." Her conversation with Salman Khan, togged out in a bespoke suit, intensifies. Next, he announces coolly, "I'm weird too."
Indeed, the Eid release of the year - the third edition in the stunts-packed franchise Race - wins my vote for the Best Weird Dialogue Award of the Year (so far). "Our business is our business, none of your business", "Oh, so much passion", "Don't open your dil (heart), open your Dell (laptop)" and similar gobbledygook punctuate this unintended comedy that has garnered reviews ranging from the absolutely hostile to the smarmily polite.
Polite because you can't mess with superstar Salman Khan beyond a point. After all, however whacked-out his films may be, they do recover their investment and some more. The opening Friday collections of Race 3 - a day before Eid was observed in India - was close to Rs 28 crore.
Moreover, the Khan continues to be Big Brother to his huge loyal fan base. If he had delivered the under-performer Tubelight (2017), presenting him as a namby-pamby cry baby, he redeemed his market clout with the muscle-flaunting Tiger Zinda Hai the same year.
Without any let up, the audience expects Salman Khan to take his shirt or vest off, as the case may be, and display his torso, which he does in Race 3, towards the finale - pitting him against a gym-renewed Bobby Deol. Alas, you know it's unequal to the extent of being laughable. Our superhero is bound to survive a thousand bullets, fistbouts and the law of gravity (yes, he even flies like an eagle).
A Race 4 is promised, albeit with a rider. Will Salman Khan feature in the franchise again? To that he grins cheekily and says, "I don't know." All will depend, naturally, on how the third-parter, bunged together reportedly at the cost of Rs 150 crore, fares at the cash counters.
Whatever the final commercial tally may be, there can be no denying that the first two parts, released in 2008 and 2013, were way slicker, enhanced by chart-busting music scores, and featuring far more charismatic leading ladies, ranging from Bipasha Basu and Katrina Kaif to Deepika Padukone. This time around, Jacqueline Fernandez and the Khan-promoted Daisy Shah pale by comparison despite their blingy costumes, kickboxing feats and punchy one-liners which may have you chortling, derisively, in the aisles.
The original directors of the franchise, Abbas-Mustan, are sorely missed. When it comes to editing, a brisk tempo and orchestration of action scenes, they've been among the best in the Bollywood business. Why they were replaced by choreographer-turned-director Remo D'Souza will remain a mystery. Could it be because they're no longer considered hot property? A pity that, since the real-life brothers were responsible for cementing the careers of Akshay Kumar (with Khiladi, 1992) and Shah Rukh Khan (with Baazigar, 1993).
Without Abbas-Mustan, the Race franchise - crammed with fast cars, Lamborghinis going up in smoke, clubby music and glamour quotient - has lost a substantial amount of it entertainment value.
Among those who have survived include Anil Kapoor (the only one who has sustained his acting chops), background music composers Salim-Sulaiman, and story/script writer Shiraz Ahmed, who first came to prominence with the likeable mystery thriller Humraaz (2002) toplining Bobby Deol and Akshaye Khanna. No prizes for guessing that the writer's mentor happened to be none other than Abbas-Mustan. Minus the director duo, the writer has evidently lost the plot.
The kind of simmering tension evidenced between half-brothers in the start-up Race (Saif Ali Khan and Akshaye Khanna) is reduced to the level of a farce in the new edition. Plus, the situations for the songs are so obtrusive that a romantic ditty between Bobby Deol and Daisy Shah prompts you to clutch your head with grief. The only reason for the inclusion of this songathon could be Salman Khan's bid to assign extra footage to Deol - whom he appears to have taken under his wings. Sporting gesture - that but it's at the expense of lulling the viewer into a snooze.
To come to the extensive use of international locations - ranging from Abu Dhabi and stretches of Thailand - these are splendidly photographed in 3-D. The snag is that the excessive technical style cannot compensate for the lack of a semblance of plausibility. Bristling with sub-plots, illogical situations, contrived twists and turns, the result goes haywire. Instead of a smooth narrative, you get a dramaturgy dangling with loose threads.
Franchise flicks, if they are to last, have to be more inventive. To a degree, the Dhoom editions have sought to better themselves. Sorry to say, Race 3 is afflicted by more flat tyres than you can count on all your toes and fingers. Moral of the story: today content - not formula racing - rocks at the movies.
wknd@khaleejtimes.com