Out of tune

But it’s fairly unusual and probably not a good idea to bring such musicals back into their original medium. The Weinstein Co. and a host of producers thought lightning might strike twice with Fellini’s 8 ½, which inspired the Tony Award-winning 1982 musical Nine. Lightning does not strike the same place twice.

The disappointments are many here, from a starry cast the film ill uses to flat musical numbers that never fully integrate into the dramatic story. Nine is not going to revive the slumbering musical film genre for sure. Moviegoers are going to be enticed by that cast, and the Weinstein brothers certainly know how to promote a movie.

Fellini’s 1963 masterpiece takes you inside a man’s head. In Nine, written by Michael Tolkin and the late Anthony Minghella, you get a tired filmmaker with too many women in his life and not enough movie ideas.

Daniel Day-Lewis plays Guido and, to his credit, it’s not Marcello Mastroianni’s Guido but a new character, more burnt-out than blocked and increasingly sickened by his womanising.

The film insists it’s still 1965 Rome, where black-and-white, Cinecitta Studios, Vespas, Ray-Bans and all things Italian reign. A new Guido Contini movie is about to start production, but no script exists. In despair, Guido flees to a seaside spa. Within a day, his mistress (Penelope Cruz, all legs and pleading libido), demanding producer, production team and then his wife (Marion Cotillard, unable to adapt well to misery) take up residence in the small town.

Sad romantic trysts and unproductive production meetings ensue. In his imagination, all the women of his life, from his mother (a rather saintly Sophia Loren) to that whore on the beach from his childhood (Stacy Ferguson, better known as Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas), materialise. Each has her production number. Then, the numbers done, the movie returns to dreary melodrama.

Under Rob Marshall’s awkward direction, it really is that segmented: melodrama, song, melodrama, song. The musical numbers clearly take place on a huge stage, while the rest of the movie ostensibly occurs in Italy, though it often looks pretty stage-bound too.

Marshall’s previous film musical, Chicago, won the Oscar for best film, but it’s not clear why, given that the musical numbers were all pieced together in such tiny cuts you rarely caught anybody singing or dancing for more than a moment. Even in this film the numbers are all a matter of edits, zooms and multiple angles. His actors sing pretty damn well, but none is a dancer, so he has to disguise this in every number.

Maury Yeston’s music and lyrics are serviceable but often seem out of touch with the emotions Guido and his many women are experiencing.

Nicole Kidman as Guido’s “muse” and Kate Hudson as an on-the-make American journalist get to do very little. Judi Dench is wonderful and wise as Guido’s costume designer-cum-therapist and, fortunately, is asked to do little in terms of singing and dancing.

Fergie is kinda fun as a childhood fantasy of sexuality. Cruz and Cotillard get real characters to play, but they’re the stuff of bad soap opera.

Then there’s Daniel Day-Lewis. He is an incredibly sexy man and performs all the right moves. The problem is he keeps doing those moves over and over so you experience not so much artistic angst but a guy trying to sober up from a two-week binge. Sporting a scruffy beard and running a hand through long hair only goes so far.

With Nine you never get inside the protagonist’s head. You just can’t decide whether his problem is too many women or too many musical numbers breaking out for no reason.

FILM REVIEW

Movie: Nine

Director: Rob Marshall

Cast: Daniel Day-Lewis, Sophia Lauren, Dame Judi Dench, Nicole Kidman, Penelope Cruz, Marion Cotillard