Ma way is the best

Eleven-year-old Azmath might have his share of disagreements with his mother, Fathuma Hamziya, but nothing can come in the way of their love for each other...

By Vijay Dandige, Contributor

Published: Thu 20 Mar 2008, 12:04 AM

Last updated: Sun 5 Apr 2015, 3:30 PM

ABIDING LOVE, caring, disagreements, nagging, sulking, rebelliousness... No relationship is quite as primal as the one between a mother and her son.

Fathuma Hamziya and her 11-year-son Azmath talk about what goes into a mother-son relationship.

Hamziya is the PA to the General Manager as well as the RB Coordinator and Regional RB Master Trainer at the Radisson SAS Hotel, Dubai Deira Creek.

A single mother and full-time employee, she works from 8am till 6pm and spends longer hours on some days at work.

Mother Speak

She says, “My son means everything to me. He’s my world, more so as an expatriate living away from rest of my family. Because of my busy work schedule it’s difficult for me to make time for him, especially on working days.

“But I make sure that I’ve at least one meal with him everyday, either breakfast or dinner, which helps us bond together. And we’re very much in touch over the phone. “Of course, weekends are very precious for us and sometimes we cook together which is another way of bonding. And I also include him in our social activities, at the hotel or with my friends.”

“But I do discipline him, though not in a harsh way. I do snap at him sometimes. Instead of punishing I try to inculcate the right values in him through having very open conversations. We have very good communication, which I think is the key to getting the message across and moulding him in the right way.

“What I like about my son is that he is extremely independent for his age, very understanding, respectful, a sensitive and friendly person who values religious teachings. For instance, he understands why I have to work and that I cannot be there for him all the time like many of his friends’ mothers.”

“What bugs me about him, however, are his slight addiction to the Internet, and the habit of trading CDs, DVDs and books, electronic gadgets etc. with his friends. And I sometimes worry about the CDs and books that he brings home from friends.

“And they all eat this junk food. He’s very much into wearing cool clothes and all that, so I take care not to thrust my ideas on him but he knows what I expect from him.

“And yes, there’re times I tell him off. But I strongly believe in empowering him, so I give him enough space to do his own things. I don’t believe in imposing lot of restrictions or wanting him to do things my way. He should have his own dreams, his own style.”

“I’d like him to grow up to be a normal average person because I don’t want to put a lot of pressure on him. As long as he grows up to be a decent man who knows the values of his culture, religion and humanity, a simple and good person able to afford a good living and be independent, I’d be happy.”

Son Speak

On his part, Azmath, who is a sixth grade student at The Westminster School in Dubai, says,

“My mother means everything to me. She’s nice and kind and most of the time lets me do whatever I want to. During the week when she has to go to office I have my breakfast with her and spend time with her. On weekends we go out shopping, for movies, to the library and do other things together.”

“Yes, sometimes I do have my fights with her. Sometimes when she comes late, I get angry with her. And sometimes we argue about my school work or video games.

“I know my mother worries about some things, like my friends and studies. But I realise that she’s worried because she wants me to have good friends and be good.”

“Sometimes when my mother nags me, I get irritated and just say ‘fine’ and do whatever she has told me to do. But I take my own time doing that. I don’t argue or sulk or anything like that. But she knows I didn’t like it. After some time, we start talking.”

“She’s strict in certain things. Sometimes when I want to buy something while shopping she says no, so I just go, ‘Fine’, and think, ‘Okay, maybe I’ll get it next time.’

“I like to wear baggy jeans and stuff like that. When I was small my mother used to tell me to wear this or that. But now she lets me wear what I want to.

“In music, I like hip hop, R&D and rock and she has no issues with that. We sing together, like when stuck in traffic. She’s very understanding and lets me do a lot of stuff.

“On some days, after the maid leaves, I mess up the house but before my mother comes back, I quickly arrange and clean the house and ask her if it’s nice because she really does not like the house to be messy.

“Yes, we have our ups and downs but she’s everything to me and when I grow up, I’d like her to stop working and I’d take care of her.

When I grow up and start earning my own money, my ultimate gift to her would be to have a nice life, live happily without any worries about me. And I’m very proud of her because she recently got a good position at work.”

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