People who are assessing your qualifications can quickly tell the difference between an authentic life narrative and a third-party account
You are described as the star with the Midas touch and the star of the year. How do you feel about such epithets?
While I am happy to hear such descriptions, honestly, I have always seen myself as an actor, first. And success to me is the success of the character - and by default - the actor in me.
I have not distanced from my past. To me, the bottom-line always has been that I must keep trying to better myself; the moment I stop trying, everything will be lost. As I speak, I am sitting in my office room; there is a TV, which was my first medium, and there is the National Award in the showcase. I attribute it all to a higher power, a blessing that gives you the confidence.
I had always wanted to be an actor but it was not for fame or money. I think there has been a change in the way I approach cinema now. I believe I did not see cinema seriously in my initial days. I could have handled many roles with greater involvement. That is the difference now. Today, I am totally involved in every character - from the costume to look and mannerisms. (And support comes from his wife, Saritha who is credited for his much-appreciated costumes in Fukri, Punyalan, Aadu and more).
I look for characters that challenge me out of my comfort zone. That is the excitement I seek. I want to evolve as the character, explore it further - and that gives me the real joy.
I was pained because the character into which I put in such an effort went unnoticed. But I cannot complain because ultimately it is the choice of the audience. Then, suddenly, Shaji Pappan started getting noticed. Even in Dubai, mothers would come up to me to say their children loved Pappan. The character was everywhere - on social media. People started asking us to do it again.
Yes, it is probably a first in the world. It is even more special to me because people would say, there is no Jayasurya in the film - there is just Shaji Pappan. It has happened before too - after Cocktail, Punyalan, Trivandrum Lodge, Pretham, Iyobinte Pusthakam.
Obviously there has been a transition for me as an actor. But I think it started with a less-noticed film called Kangaroo. It liberated me as an actor but it was Cocktail that had people discussing the change.
Not at all. For one, I don't really care much about these. To me, the task is to reach the goal I've set as a performer. When I see it that way, there is no anger or malice in me, whether recognitions come or not. And no one can stop me from working hard.
It happens as you grow; you start an inner search and you realise that external things cannot give you contentment. I travelled to the Himalayas - as part of this inner journey. I realise that a film's success might make you happy but contentment comes from within. It is not to say I am detached from all this; I like to see everything as a witness and not let it go to my head. Isn't it better to just attribute all to that higher power and stay grateful? I don't worry about what I don't have, I don't go after petty things, I don't talk about a third person, I don't see negative films or even read negative reviews. These things trouble me. What is the need for it when we can consciously stay positive?
Of course, there is the comfort of working with friends. But what matters is that we have the freedom to have creative differences; there is so much give and take when there is no ego holding you back.
Honestly, I don't know. I haven't signed up for any new project. Right now, I am just taking it easy, listening to scripts. I will only do a film that excites me as an actor and performer.
People who are assessing your qualifications can quickly tell the difference between an authentic life narrative and a third-party account
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