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DANE-GEROUS LIASIONS

that published the cartoons, and now, the whole country is counting the cost.

Stores in the UAE have cleared their shelves of all Danish products. I heard it took a total of five shopkeepers two minutes to empty the shelves of the entire city of anything from that country. Okay, I understand that there are a whole range of products, but it isn’t an excessive amount is it? Come on. Off the top of your head, can you think of ten products the Danes sell here?

At least, hopefully, the stores will start stocking some half-decent feta cheese. Did you notice that all the Danish stuff was made from cow’s milk? Their blasphemy knows no bounds.

It must be difficult to be a Dane living in Dubai right now. They must be hidding behind locked doors. Mind you, I drove past a vehicle yesterday emblazoned with ‘Deliciously Danish’ on it. I almost crashed when I saw it. I just hope it was referring to the pastry kind and not the country.

Certainly what the Danes in the city need is an outlet and a way to reduce the stress and anxiety they must be feeling. And what better way than through a visit to the Wellbeing Show 2006. Kicking off today with all manner of gurus present, everyone will find something to improve their general wellbeing.

I spoke to astrologer Shelley Von Strunckel yesterday, and although I’m not a cynic, I’m not a true believer either. I’m not completely convinced after our chat, but Shelley really does know her stuff, and was great to talk to.

The person I want to meet is Dizzy Hips, who’s in town to show us how to ‘hula hoop to health.’ What a fantastic name. I remember when hula hoops were all the rage. I could never get the hang of it, but my sister could put it round her neck, waist, individual arms and legs. Show off!

While I’m on the subject of well-being, I experienced every man’s fantasy this week: two women touching me at the same time. Jin Shin Jyutsu is the ancient art of touching for healing purposes. It was fantastic, and I would reccomend it to anyone. Very relaxing, but I’m not sure what I was supposed to get out of it. I was asked by my ‘healer’ if I could feel a ‘flow’ through my body. She seemed a little disappointed when I said no.

Although I’m not entirely sure about all of the different modes of well-being available, the abundance out there makes it a lot of fun experiencing them. Of course there’s the wacky, but I reckon I’ll find one or two that I can benefit from. If I don’t, I can always create one of my own.