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Best friends for life

WE EXPERIENCE the universal nature of friendship in many instances in our lives. But children seem to share a special bonding that one cannot often recreate in adulthood without some degree of difficulty. They seem to overcome differences of any kind with an ease and simplicity, which we can only strive to emulate.

In June 2007, the Millennium School, Dubai, launched an innovative programme called 'Best Buddies' where one-to-one friendships are established between buddies (students of the Millennium School) and peer buddies (students of Rashid Paediatric Therapy Centre, Dubai).

Renu Sarah Thomas, a senior school teacher at Millennium School, says, "It's a programme started by Anthony Kennedy Shriver in America in 1989. The purpose is to enhance the lives of the intellectually challenged. We look at high functioning individuals for this purpose. They are chosen with care and they are paired with high school students on a one to one friendship basis."

Renu, who is also coordinator of 'Best Buddies', describes how the programme benefits both groups - the special needs children and their peers in the Millennium School. "There are six schemes - middle school, high school, college. We have chosen Best buddies - High School, that is Grade 9 to 12. The special needs children are also from the same age group. Usually special needs children get to mingle with children who are younger than them because of their intellectual challenges. This programme encourages socialising among the same age group. This programme is new to us, and new to Dubai."

Passion and commitment

Michael Guzder, Principal, Millennium School, says a meeting held some time ago to discuss the progress of the programme was an eye-opener.

" I spoke to our pupils and realized how very passionate they are about this programme. I feel it's a wonderful initiative for more schools to take up and join because it's not only good for the Rashid Paediatric children but our children as well, because they are beginning to see those children in a new light. Our children feel they're terrific individuals, they're so friendly, they're so warm and once they get to know their buddies, they become really good friends," he says.

Events

The school organised a visit to Rashid Paediatric Therapy Centre where the students got a glimpse of their buddies' learning environment, which strengthened the understanding of their abilities. It was the first time the buddy pairs met as a chapter.

A 'Family Day' - 'Colours of Friendship' was also held for students, staff and parents involved with the programme. The group had a chance to interact as a team and reflect on the collective result of their individual efforts. Renu Thomas describes the day as one where 'love was tangible.'

She says, "We had this little presentation that the children had made. No one quite realised the impact of what they were doing till then - so when they got together people were really moved to tears. We didn't know how to handle it because they were crying to see their children smiling and jumping and actually laughing and enjoying the company of others and others accepting their differences. We never really anticipated how the day would turn out but it was way beyond our expectations."

Future plans

So is there any plan to bring these children to the school at any point - a gradual integration into the mainstream school system? Renu says, "We need people from special needs schools who willing to participate. It will be like an exchange programme, but not exactly - more of an integration really but only once a month."

Principal Guzder adds, "They won't be admitted, they won't be on the rolls. But with ministry permission, they'll come in and spend a few hours in the school. We can let them come in for a day - the parents can bring them in. Maybe the parents could remain in school for the time they are here. They could attend classes like music or art and craft. Maybe if they're interested in swimming, they could attend a swimming class, a PE class, a basketball class, a library session. Sometimes we have people coming in to give talks to the senior pupils, they could be a part of that too if they wanted."

Through a child's eyes

Renu concludes by highlighting the invaluable lessons that children can sometimes teach us where issues like friendship are concerned. She says, "All we can do is match them based on their interests and hope for the best. It's a big step - but once they meet, it's unbelievable how they bond so quickly. The parents tell us, 'You know with children there are no complications. It's us adults who tend to label and complicate things.'"

The core of the Best Buddies programme, founded by Anthony Kennedy Shriver in 1989, is the one-to-one relationship it promotes between students with and without intellectual challenges

Breaking barriers

'Best Buddies' brings together two individuals who share common interests and connect on a personal level, and gives them an opportunity to soar beyond any presumed limitations. Two Millennium School students who are part of the programme spoke about their 'buddy' experiences and how these have changed their perceptions and attitudes.

16-year-old Anagha Santhosh, a student of Grade 11 and Vice-President of the Best Buddies Chapter, says, "Well, we're basically paired with one child and my partner is a 13-year-old girl called Fatima. So I interact with her, call her at least once a week, go out with her and generally spend time with her. I find it's a unique, one of a kind experience and the friendship that has developed over these six months or so is something very special. Now she waits for my calls and sometimes she tells her mom, 'I want to talk to Anagha.' She wants me to come home all the time. She loves talking over the phone and telling me about what she's watching on TV - she'll say, 'I'm watching this or that movie - it's very nice and you should see it too.'"

And was it difficult at first to interact with her? "I thought it would be but it was not at all difficult - I was a little scared about how it would all turn out but she was very friendly, very sweet, down to earth and she's a little physically challenged as well so there was a little difficulty in getting her around but we overcome all that."

Her sentiments are echoed as enthusiastically by 13-year-old Leon Lewis, a Grade 9 student and President of the Best Buddies Chapter. He says, "My buddy Connor McLean is from England. He's 12 years old and when I first met him he wasn't very attached to me because he got a stroke when he was about one year old and now he cannot speak or write or read properly. He can only look at pictures and identify the objects and his speech isn't very clear. So at first I found it a bit difficult to interact with him because I didn't know exactly how to speak with him but later on I started taking books, pointing out pictures. He would take me to his toys and play with me and slowly he started coming closer to me and now he's really excited to meet me whenever I go to see him."

PHOTOS: SHAKIL QAISER