Dear Therapist: 'My partner is cheating on me'

By Prateeksha Shetty

Published: Wed 26 May 2021, 5:56 PM

I’ve been in a relationship for a long time and found out my partner is cheating on me. I was in love with him but I can’t deal with unfaithfulness. I feel stuck. I can’t live without him but the relationship is over anyway as I can’t ever move on from this. I still can’t fully process that he has done this to me and I don’t think I’ll be able to forgive him. — Name Withheld

Dear Writer, I am sorry that you are in pain. I understand that it’s not easy to forgive a partner who has betrayed your trust this way. You are mourning a loss of an intimate relationship and a future that you may have planned with this person. It’s normal at this point to feel stuck, angry, sad (sometimes all at once) and even want to put an end to your relationship. While no one can decide for you if you should forgive him or not, you could instead focus on processing the grief that you feel at this point of time. Distancing from your partner may help temporarily as you understand what would be the best course of action. Try not pressurising yourself to take any decision in this emotional state. Work on taking care of yourself, reminding yourself of your values and what your needs are in a romantic relationship. With time, you will know what is best for you.

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