Dear Therapist: I have forgotten what it feels like to be beautiful

2DEYJ43 Flat vector illustration of a female with a comb in hand. Woman with hairless problems, fall, alopecia, damage
2DEYJ43 Flat vector illustration of a female with a comb in hand. Woman with hairless problems, fall, alopecia, damage

By Annette Schonder

Published: Thu 25 Feb 2021, 6:00 PM

Last updated: Fri 26 Feb 2021, 7:11 AM

I am 24 years of age and suffer from alopecia. With a near-bald head, I’m often made fun of. I have nearly forgotten what it feels like to be beautiful. My sense of self has been distorted in the process. — Kriti Sharma



Dear Kriti, I am genuinely sorry that you are feeling bad about yourself because people are making fun of you with your alopecia. To me, it is unacceptable that people have made fun of you just because you vary from an expected norm.

I am sure you have done research and know that you are not alone with this condition. There are foundations and support groups to give you emotional and practical support. In addition, celebrities and beauty queens are coming forward about their alopecia to share their challenges with it and educate the public.

Please do not let hurtful comments have you believe that you are not beautiful. You are so much more than your hair. I understand that you feel that your sense of self has been distorted, but let me say with certainty that your sense of self can be restored, so that you can go back to feeling worthy and confident.

I hope that you will reach out to someone with alopecia to exchange thoughts and ideas. I also suggest that you talk to your trusted loved ones and friends about your feelings and ways of managing those who are making fun of you. You should find a way to let those who offend you know that their behaviours are unacceptable. Lastly, consider professional support if you feel hesitant to reach out, or feel that your progress is too slow.


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