'Actors have to be 100 times more careful about what they speak': Sushmita Sen

Bollywood actress. Former Miss Universe. Single mother. A woman who's lived life by her own rules. Someone who's not afraid to speak her mind. Someone who remains something of an enigma. Sushmita Sen wears many hats. In a one-on-one with wknd., she answers 10 telling questions

Sushmita Sen could have been a name buried under a general knowledge factoid. Sure, 'India's First Miss Universe', 'The Woman Who Beat Aishwarya Rai at Miss India 1994' may be great buzzwords to remember her by. But take a look at her life and times and you will realise why Sushmita Sen cannot be trapped in easy nomenclatures and hashtags. Be it talking about her relationships candidly when it was frowned upon to do so or adopting a baby girl at the prime of her career (at a time when motherhood often revoked your access to big-ticket projects), she is one of the few Bollywood celebrities who has lived life on her own terms and has often explained her choices and decisions most eloquently.
Recently, Sen came visiting Dubai to promote Miraclz By Danube, owned by real estate entrepreneur Rizwan Sajan, of which she is the brand ambassador. Speaking to the media non-stop for four hours, there is never a moment when Sushmita gives the impression that she is exhausted. On the contrary, her energy only intensifies. It may not be easy being Sushmita Sen, but she makes it seem effortless. During the course of this conversation, she mentions how most of her interviews are interpretations of her. Lest the essence be diluted, we bring you the eloquent Ms Sen in her own words.

A lot of conversations revolve around your Miss Universe title. This year, you went to judge the pageant. Did it bring back memories?
Philippines has always shown incredible love to me. Over the past two decades, they have sent some of their seniormost journalists to my sets, to my home, to interview me just because they want their new generation to know what I have been up to. Recently, I met a few 23-year-old girls who were named Sushmita after I won the title in 1994. Obviously they hadn't met me so far. That feeling was priceless. As a child, I used to complain to my parents, "What kind of name have you given me? No one in school can pronounce it right." My parents used to tell me, "When you grow up, you will come to appreciate the name." After meeting these girls, I did!

Lately, there has been a spate of articles on social media revisiting the Miss India 1994 pageant where you and Aishwarya Rai were on a tiebreaker. Do you revisit that moment?
Perhaps that is because life is coming a full circle for me. When I go and judge the Miss Universe pageant, the conversation about that moment begins all over again. What I do relive is the learning that I got from my Maa, who had then explained to me that you can upset someone else, or someone else can upset you - but you will never know that until you gave it a fair shot. She told me, "You are pitted against someone who is very popular and very successful. But that's not the reason for you not to compete." Ever since I won Miss India in 1994, her words have stayed with me. Everything gives you a final answer in life.

As an actress, however, you have always maintained that you could not be a "churn-out factory". Do you think it could have made you a pariah in mainstream Bollywood?
There was a time when I could work round-the-clock - from 1996 to 2000. And then Rene (her elder daughter) came into my life. There was a time when I was always on the sets, always doing magazine shoots, interviews. Honestly, I did have a lot of fun doing those as long as I did not have Rene. I am fiercely independent - financially, emotionally and otherwise - but I have never centred my life on one thing. I am a mother, I build brands and I also work with them - there are personas and responsibilities attached to these aspects of my life. With Rene, I decided to slow down. I did not stop acting in films - but I decided to do two films a year and then one. Also, the kind of scripts that had begun to come my way were more on the lines of 'let's-do-this-because-I-need-to-do-films'. It was a criminal waste of my time. Criminal. I missed seeing the first step that Rene took and it bothers me.

It's largely about priorities in life. Not all mothers are as obsessed as I am. I can be touchy about little things; I want to capture every little moment. To do that, you have to make certain choices. Unlike most people, I did not start my life at 21, I started early at the age of 16, when I was modelling. By 18, I was Miss Universe. By 19, I had travelled to 33 countries. I was a global citizen. I had seen too much of life around me to want to settle down in one place. It's not that I am done acting, but it has to make sense of my time. Anyway, I have got Farah (Khan) coming to me with a Main Hoon Na 2.

Sushmita Sen with Rizwan Sajan of Danube in Dubai
 
The role in Main Hoon Na was quite an iconic one and pegged heavily on a certain oomph factor. How will your character be updated in the film?
I am waiting for Farah to come back to me with the script. She is excited about it, so am I. She calls me 'Queen' and I call her a 'Queen-maker'. So, one day, she just called me, "Queen, I have a writer's block, man. I am still working on the script of Main Hoon Na 2." I told her, "Finish it fast or our children will have to be cast in the film." Both of us were in splits.

Recently, Meryl Streep's speech on Donald Trump at the Golden Globes sparked a debate in India about Bollywood actors not speaking up on burning issues. Do you think the criticism is fair?
It's a fine balance, which we need to understand. I think America will slowly realise that their concept of freedom of speech will be curtailed because you are looking at a very different political setup now. They have been used to speaking their minds, but in India, we have to be sensitive about the fact that there are multiple cultures and religions staying together as one unit. One statement from a celebrity can destroy so many balances. I don't think actors don't speak out, but we have to be a hundred times more careful about what we speak. We may have the freedom of speech, but it is defined very differently in real life, which America is about to find out soon.

Over the years, has the role of middlemen become stronger in Bollywood?
You know, I find that ironic because, earlier, middlemen were the only means to reach a star. Today, you can reach me on Instagram, Twitter or Facebook. There are far greater ways of reaching out to someone today. The question is - will they respond to you? There are no guarantees for that. I, for one, am not very fond of too many people in the middle because they mostly end up spoiling things. The Danube group is a good example of that. I knew so much about the company but I did not know anything about Mr Rizwan Sajan. The way they were projecting him to me and me to him was completely opposite to what we actually were like.

How have you evolved as a mother with Rene and Alisah?
Meghana Gulzar had once told me that her dad, Gulzar saab, used to say that you are as old as your child. The idea that I am your parent, so I know better than you, is not true. I know as much as I know. So, if my daughter is 17 now, I am 17 too; I don't know anything more than that. What both my girls have taught me is how to be patient. The whole process of growing up takes time for you and for them. You learn how to forgive. No matter what you tell them - "you can't go here", "you can't have this" - after five seconds of being really mad at you, they forgive. It's a quality I have learnt from my children.
People often congratulate me and say, "Wow, what a lovely thing you have done by adopting two kids." but the fact is that they have honoured me by giving me the darja (status) of a mother. It was easy for me because I chose them. Now I am spending the rest of my life ensuring they choose me back.

You are a people's person and yet you can be a recluse. Where does someone like you stand amid a flurry of stars who are constantly providing updates about their life on social media?
I started Instagram as late as last April because I am a visual person and lead a very visual life. I have pictures that tell a story. I realised that for the past two decades, people had always heard of Sushmita Sen, the actor, model and Miss Universe, but they don't really know me because my interviews are someone else's interpretation of me. That's what made me think, "Let's start a visual representation of myself." I have kept my Instagram only for storytelling, which is why I don't follow anyone. I am not interested in "Oh, I was here. I had this for food." I post on things that inspire me and I want my followers to see those. I use social media to connect with people, not for them to give me likes and hearts. In fact, I find that a lot of my colleagues and friends, who have millions of followers, end up attracting such nasty people, who bully on social media. I have the most elegant lot - even if they criticise, they criticise very well.

You have always maintained that Dubai is very special to you. What aspects of this city inspire you?
Dubai is also my home away from home because my mother lives here. In fact, she has been living here for the past 26 years. So, from Bur Dubai to Palm Jumeirah, I have lived in different parts of Dubai wherever my mum shifted. In a sense, I have grown with this city. Now, through endorsing Danube, I get to work here as well. Otherwise, it has always been about coming to mum's place and long vacations.

You have always been very self-assured. Is there anything that you fear?
I have a lot of fears but I have an amazing ability to hold on to them. When you hold on to fear long enough, it turns into courage. When you become a mother and have two children, fear is your middle name. You're constantly worried - "Oh, will she fall?", "Is she okay?". But it's not the fear that gets in your way - it's a fear that drives you. Progressively.
anamika@khaleejtimes.com