Hey, it's perfectly okay to go to the movies alone, you know

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Hey, its perfectly okay to go to the movies alone, you know

People think it's weird or pathetic to watch a movie alone. We disagree. You're not a tragic saddo for eating alone. Calling it 'brave' is off too. We need to sort these warped notions. Table for one coming up!

by

Kelly Clarke

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Published: Fri 19 May 2017, 7:39 PM

Last updated: Fri 19 May 2017, 10:10 PM

Have you ever had one of those "did you really just say that" moments before? My guess is yes, and naturally, this leads perfectly into an encounter I had the other day, which left me thinking just that.
I didn't know whether to laugh or be totally offended when I walked into a popular restaurant here last week, alone. As I smiled at the host and unashamedly asked for a table for one, she grabbed the menu and led me towards the back of the restaurant.
When we finally stopped at a discreet little table in the corner, she proudly said - with a big, pitying smile in tow - "this is our favourite table for people eating alone." I couldn't actually believe it. Talk about hand-to-face 'doh' moment. It was grounding, and I responded to her innocent brazenness with a sarcastic laugh - teeth slightly gritted.
The position of that little table said it all. It was hidden away in the corner so nobody could see the sad loner eating solo. It was as if the waitress was protecting me from the jeers and laughs of all the showboating diners eating out with their 'friends' - friends she probably assumed I didn't have.
But let's get one thing straight here. I'm not a loner. I eat out with people; I just eat out alone sometimes too.
Why is it that people are so scared of doing things on their own? It's something I just don't understand because - as you all now know - I'm also one of those 'tragic saddos' that regularly embarks on the solo cinema experience too. Total weirdo, I know.
But am I really? Why is it that we can shop, go to the gym, and do a whole host of other stuff, alone, yet going to the cinema or eating out with just 'me, myself and I' is deemed weird?
My friend's wife actually called me "brave" because of it once. Brave?! Brave is throwing yourself out of a plane, or battling a great white shark as you surf. Brave is not grabbing a bite to eat on your day off. Talk about misuse of a word.
Don't get me wrong, I love a social outing with friends, but I also love nothing more than having a bit of down time to myself sometimes. Granted, I'd never book a table for one at 8pm on Valentines Day - that WOULD be tragic - but I enjoy playing the part of loner at times.
As I was finishing up work on Tuesday (the last working day of my week), I mentioned to my colleague that I might head to the cinema to start my 'weekend' off. She instantly recommended I go see Mukti Bhawan - Hotel Salvation (yet to watch it), and asked me who I was going with.
When I answered "alone," I fully expected the usual "alone?!" shriek that most respond with. But her reaction was positive. She - a married woman - agreed with me; and she - a married woman - likes going to the cinema alone too. Crazy!
That, of course, led us to talking about why most people are so averse to doing things solo. And she told me I should write about it. So here I am, shedding light on one of the world's greatest taboos (exaggeration intended).
I'll admit it. I used to be eeked out by doing things alone. Not because I don't like my own company (I revel in it), but because I was embarrassed by it. I cared too much about what people would think.
If I sat in a restaurant or movie theatre alone, people would presume that I'd been stood up. I couldn't have them think that. I didn't want people wrongly assuming I was a loser with no friends either. So it was that fear that stopped me from doing things alone.
But things have changed since then. I've grown up, and with that, I've grown to love 'me time'. If that makes me weird, then weird I am.
After that enlightening lunch encounter in the restaurant with a table dedicated for "people eating alone," I texted my friend and told him about the comical exchange.
Predictably, it gave him a good laugh and he responded with jibes of being "tragically single". But this was also a guy whose advances I'd fought off previously. Jokingly reminding him of that moment of rejection, I responded with: "That empty space across the table could have been you, but I decided alone was better". That soon silenced him, and victory was mine.
But like my colleague, he too agreed. Why is it always presumed that people don't want to do things alone?
What I've actually gained from my "brave," lone, public expeditions, is confidence. I'm less self-conscious in public places than ever before and if people are going to frown at me for that, then crack on. Just make sure you do it with a friend, for extra effect, you know.
 - kelly@khaleejtimes.com
Kelly covers Education and other important stuff. She finds it endearing when people call her Kel


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