Have an open mind, be curious and explore

Has the world become more tolerant or have we become more critical?

By Nasif Kayed

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Published: Wed 26 Jul 2017, 9:00 PM

Last updated: Wed 26 Jul 2017, 11:27 PM

My passion in life is to help people understand Arabic culture and Islamic faith. Along the way, I have realised that my way of life, faith or culture needs no apology We are unique individuals, cultures - and differences should to be celebrated. To get along with people of different cultures, we simply need to understand what drives the things we do and the way we do them. We learn from a young age, what we can and cannot to 'fit in'. We behave within the boundaries of tradition, culture, religion, and political systems as per the status quo.
So where do we get the notion that accepting or even embracing other ways of life does not benefit or befit us?
I often hear some expats say, "I've been here (in emirates) for some time. Yet, I've never made friends with an Arab or Emirati, or tried local food or been to a mosque! I never venture out of my own social network." So, it's still a novel idea to know someone else's way of life, and finding value in knowing another way of doing things. I learned that many years ago, when I travelled to what seemed to me another universe. I went with the attitude that I need to explore and experience the new surroundings, measuring step by step what was 'OK' and what wasn't - with reference to my own culture, faith and set of traditions. As I met new people, I found my colleagues were curious about me as well. I realised once you open the doors of communication, there is no stopping, and no limits to where conversations may lead. Most of the questions, my colleagues asked, were about my personal way of life, culture, and belief.
What amazed me is that the simplest and silliest questions were the hardest to answer. For instance, why do you wear what you wear? Why a particular colour? Why do you sit or eat this way? Are marriages arranged? Why do you pray five times a day? Why do you fast? Do women have rights? 
To all this, my reply would be: I'm not so sure why, but that's just the way we do things! Of course, no one accepts such answers and most of the time the conversation ended with awkward silence.  
This inspired me to revisit my history, my past, so I could explain better to my peers, but it also did something to me as a person. It challenged me to understand myself before I could convey to someone else the why behind my way of doing things. Of course, personality and individual preferences played a role, but I found that my culture was the driving force behind my preferences, wants, likes, and dislikes. And that's with everyone. Isn't it? Each and every one of us inherits different systems. In most instances, we do not question them. Yet, we question other people's way of life, culture and faith, and at times with scepticism. So, when I was asked the question, 'Why do you wear white and force your women to wear black', I realised how a perception could determine someone's point of view. When I counter questioned, 'Why do you think we force women to wear black?' My colleagues replied, obviously, white is cooler so it makes sense to wear it in the hot desert climes. But black is hot, so they must not have chosen this on their own!
I soon started loving such encounters. By counter questioning, I learned something about other cultures, too. Once I had asked: Why do you wear jeans? Why is it blue? Of course, I never got an answer to that.
Today as the Arab Culturalist, I do have answers to many such questions and I tell them through stories of how cultures evolve, at their own pace.
It is important to have an open mind. Be curious, ask, explore, and dive into the world around you. Take advantage of the place you live in, and find beauty in the differences. Let us all share our cultures.
Nasif Kayed is Founder and CEO of The Arab Culturalist
 


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